He dreamt that we were walking over an overpass. He turned away from me for just a moment, and when he turned back to me it was too late. I had been struck by a car and killed. Fast forward. He is home alone with Arielle. He says the house is empty. He says she is sad that I am gone. He falls asleep, and I come to him in his dreams. These are bittersweet encounters. He is glad to see me, but knows he's only dreaming. In these dreams I try to assure him that everything will be okay, that he is doing a good job with Evangeline. "It's so unfair for her that you are gone", he tells me. He wakes up, Evangeline is beside him, and I am not. He cries. He sleeps. He wakes. Days go by. I come to him in dreams, but not every night. Every visit is the same, and always ends in tears.
He woke up crying. 2:33 AM 11/08/10
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Who's your daddy?
November 9, 2010
I dreamt that Evangeline was sick. So sick she needed blood or marrow or an organ or something. Adam and I, and the rest of our family had all taken tests, none of us had what she needed. The doctors told us the best candidate would be Evangeline's paternal grandfather. Adam told the doctor that that would be impossible, that his father had died. Adam's mother came forward, and told him that she had lied to him all these years. She told Adam that Uncle Jimmy was his real father. Adam was so angry. He allowed Uncle Jimmy to save Arielle, but he would not to speak to him. Uncle Jimmy saved Arielle's life, but doing so left him weakened. Uncle Jimmy died and Adam was devastated.
I dreamt that Evangeline was sick. So sick she needed blood or marrow or an organ or something. Adam and I, and the rest of our family had all taken tests, none of us had what she needed. The doctors told us the best candidate would be Evangeline's paternal grandfather. Adam told the doctor that that would be impossible, that his father had died. Adam's mother came forward, and told him that she had lied to him all these years. She told Adam that Uncle Jimmy was his real father. Adam was so angry. He allowed Uncle Jimmy to save Arielle, but he would not to speak to him. Uncle Jimmy saved Arielle's life, but doing so left him weakened. Uncle Jimmy died and Adam was devastated.
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Skinny
25 lbs between 10/01/10 and 12/31/2010 (13 weeks)
25 lbs between 01/10/11 and 04/18/2011 (15 weeks)
I will spend $1000 on new clothes if I reach my goal by my 29th birthday
25 lbs between 01/10/11 and 04/18/2011 (15 weeks)
I will spend $1000 on new clothes if I reach my goal by my 29th birthday
Monday, June 28, 2010
My own flesh
Saturday, June 25, 2010
I had the strangest dream last night. The dream seemed to span the course of a day. We were at Jeff and Amber's house doing many things but nothing in particular. We played in the pool, we spent time with the baby, I ordered cosmetics from Amber, and I helped her mom make dinner. We were preparing to celebrate the one month anniversary of Mahina's birth. Night was approaching, we were sitting on their living room floor, Adam was having a beer. Something knocked the beer over. I say "something" because no one touched it, no one was touching the little table that it sat upon. Something bumped into me, bumped into Adam, bumped into Evangeline. We were speechless, shocked. I was bumped again, this time harder. Adam too. Evangeline was struck hard, knocked flat to the floor from her seated position. We were standing now, Adam grabbed Evangeline and pushed her to me. She clung to me and I held her tight. Something was pulling her away from me. I could see her hair being yanked. I pulled her to me with my left arm, and with my right hand I grabbed at what I couldn't see. I lunged forward intending to smash into it with my head and rip into it wit my teeth. I cried out and woke up. My own hand was in my mouth, my teeth digging into my own flesh.
I had the strangest dream last night. The dream seemed to span the course of a day. We were at Jeff and Amber's house doing many things but nothing in particular. We played in the pool, we spent time with the baby, I ordered cosmetics from Amber, and I helped her mom make dinner. We were preparing to celebrate the one month anniversary of Mahina's birth. Night was approaching, we were sitting on their living room floor, Adam was having a beer. Something knocked the beer over. I say "something" because no one touched it, no one was touching the little table that it sat upon. Something bumped into me, bumped into Adam, bumped into Evangeline. We were speechless, shocked. I was bumped again, this time harder. Adam too. Evangeline was struck hard, knocked flat to the floor from her seated position. We were standing now, Adam grabbed Evangeline and pushed her to me. She clung to me and I held her tight. Something was pulling her away from me. I could see her hair being yanked. I pulled her to me with my left arm, and with my right hand I grabbed at what I couldn't see. I lunged forward intending to smash into it with my head and rip into it wit my teeth. I cried out and woke up. My own hand was in my mouth, my teeth digging into my own flesh.
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