I just lied to my daughter. Our goldfish died this morning. Adam removed him from the tank, and I buried him. I thought I could replace him before she'd even notice. This afternoon she came to my room, "Mommy, you have to look at something; Ahi Katsu is gone". I had to think fast. "Remember in Nemo, when Nemo left the tank to find his dad?", I asked her, "I think Ahi Katsu went to find his dad."
It's bedtime now and she's asking if he's coming back. Do I get her a new fish and tell her it's Ahi Katsu? Or do I tell her he's not coming back and offer her a new fish? Or surprise her with a new fish? Or tell her the truth?
Just the other day she told Adam, "Daddy I hope you don't get dead. If you get dead I'm going to be really sad".
Recently she saw someone pick a dead bird up off the road and dump it in the trash and she was mortified. "Why didn't Uncle put the birdie back in the nest with his mommy" she asked me. I changed the subject. I know , I know, I'm a coward, but she just turned 4 a few days ago.
I'm not good with death, and I'm not ready to have this conversation with her. Despite the things she's said, I don't think she really as any concept of what death is. This is a tough one.
omg, my charge asked me about how a baby gets into it's mama's tummy the other day, i about choked. my knee jerk was to say someting like when a mom and dad love one another VEEERRRY much, but stopped myself and mumbled something about a stork. i still don't know what word to use to address her lady bits. in fact i've been using the term lady bits. they are growing up way too fast.
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