Goodnight Thunder

Thunder makes me sleepy and laugh and sparkle and sprinkles.

Cast of Characters starring in the Life of Evangeline

Imaginary sister named Koma.
Imaginary brother named Em.

Plush dolly in a pink dress called Molly.
Plush Hello Kitty called Mary.
Plush Hello Kitty with a mermaid tail called Eela.
Tiny bean bag rotweiller called Hani.
White plush lamb called Kimni Lam.

Assorted imaginary cousins (unnamed).

Not a chance

December 6, 2010

It's Christmastime, and I've dragged Evangeline on countless shopping excursions with me this season.  She's been a good sport, exhibiting patience and restraint.  Everywhere we've gone she wants something - Hello Kitty this, lip gloss that, or some other pink something or other.  Each time she asks for something I've explained that we have to wait to see what Santa will bring.  She is clearly disappointed, but thankfully she doesn't usually continue push.

We were at our last stop this past weekend.  It was already late in the afternoon, and I could see Evan was worn out.  As we entered the store she didn't perk up, as she usually does.  We passed the purses, and she didn't even reach for one.  We trudged forward., and just as we passed the bathing suits she stopped hard, and doubled back.  I spun around and saw her staring at the bathing suits.

"Mommy, can I have this one," she asked nicely.

"I'm sorry Evan, I've already told you...  Santa is coming soon.  Maybe Santa will bring you a bathing suit."

"But Mom!  Pleeeease!"

"No Evan.  Not today!"

I walked away from the bathing suits.  Evan followed me reluctantly.

"I'm sorry babe, I know you're tired, " I tried to soothe her.  "Hold Mommy's hand, " I said, as I reached for her.

"Not a chance," she spat, and folded her arms.

Good God, if she is like this at 3, what will she be like at 16?

Low Point

He's lucky I hate myself. Nights like tonight, if I had any self confidence, I'd leave.

Behind the times, as usual

Maybe someday I will be so behind I will catch something for the 1st time that is actually on it's second wind and I will be current.

And then it hit me

He dreamt that we were walking over an overpass.  He turned away from me for just a moment, and when he turned back to me it was too late.  I had been struck by a car and killed.  Fast forward.  He is home alone with Arielle.  He says the house is empty.  He says she is sad that I am gone.  He falls asleep, and I come to him in his dreams.  These are bittersweet encounters.  He is glad to see me, but knows he's only dreaming.  In these dreams I try to assure him that everything will be okay, that he is doing a good job with Evangeline.  "It's so unfair for her that you are gone", he tells me.  He wakes up, Evangeline is beside him, and I am not.  He cries.  He sleeps.  He wakes.  Days go by.  I come to him in dreams, but not every night.  Every visit is the same, and always ends in tears.

He woke up crying.  2:33 AM  11/08/10

Who's your daddy?

November 9, 2010

I dreamt that Evangeline was sick. So sick she needed blood or marrow or an organ or something.  Adam and I, and the rest of our family had all taken tests, none of us had what she needed.  The doctors told us the best candidate would be Evangeline's paternal grandfather.  Adam told the doctor that that would be impossible, that his father had died.  Adam's mother came forward, and told him that she had lied to him all these years.  She told Adam that Uncle Jimmy was his real father. Adam was so angry.  He allowed Uncle Jimmy to save Arielle, but he would not to speak to him. Uncle Jimmy saved Arielle's life, but doing so left him weakened.  Uncle Jimmy died and Adam was devastated.

Dodoba - Through the Ages

When Evangeline was 2 she carried around a large green M&M made out of tin.  She would rub it under each of her little armpits, and called this giant green candy shaped container a "dodoba".  We soon figured this was her word for deodorant.

She stopped carrying it around after a half year or so, but still picked it up from time to time and rubbed it under her little "pits", after doing so she would ask you to smell them.

By the time she was almost four she knew the word deodorant, and could point the deodorant out in the bathroom, but she was still calling the chipped, dented green tin M&M her dodoba, and still rubbing it like deodorant under her arms.

Most recently -

Evangeline (seriously): Nana, do your pits stink?

Nana: No!

Evangeline: Do you have deodorant on?

Nana: Yes!

Evangeline: Okay.  Can I lay in you pits?

Nana (pulling Evangeline in for a snuggle): I guess so.

Evangeline: My dad's pits are stink!

(Nana bursts into laughter.)

Evangeline's Dream Job

Evangeline: I'm gonna have 5 jobs when I grow up.

Me: You are?!

Evangeline (matter-of-factly): Yup. I'm gonna have a candy one, and a gummy one, and a fruity one, and snacky one, and a shave-icy one.

Adam: Sounds like she's gonna own a crack seed store.

A preference for skinny jeans.

Instead of buying her the leggings I usually buy, I bought Evangeline a few pairs of yoga pants...

Evangeline: Mom, I don't like these pants! They are so tippy!
Me: Tippy?
Evangeline: Yes, they are tippy! See, tip, tip, tip! (Evangeline pulls the wide legged cuff of her pants to and fro.) They are tippy!

1st lesson on heartache, or is that just chest pain?

Evangeline: My heart hurts.
Me: Howcome your heart hurts?
Evangeline: Because somebody bent it.

Addicted.

Make-Up Wishlist
MAC Eyeshadow - Malt
MAC Eyeshadow - Symmetry
MAC Eyeshadow - Black Tied
MAC Eyeshadow - Tempting
MAC Eyeshadow - Beauty Marked
MAC Eyeshadow - Naked Lunch
MAC Eyeshadow - Brulee
MAC Eyeshadow - Honey Lust
MAC Eyeshadow - Shroom
MAC Eyeshadow - Satin Taupe
MAC Powder Shadow - Gana
MAC Pigment - Fairylight
MAC Pigment - Dark Soul
MAC Pigment - Reflects Gold
MAC Pigment - Reflects Antique Gold
MAC Fluidline - Blacktrack
MAC Glitter - Reflects Gold
MAC Lipglass - Fine China
MAC Lipglass - Oh Baby!
MAC Cream Color Base - Luna
MAC Paint Pot - Soft Ochre
MAC Paint Pot - Bare Study
NARS - Orgasm and Laguna
Urban Decay - The Nakeds Pallette - GOT IT!
Urban Decay Stardust Eye Shadow - Space Cowboy
Lorac - TANtalizer Baked Bronzer
Bobbi Brown - Apricot Shimmer Brick Compact

Delete.

I hate the word "super", and I'm going to make a conscious effort not to say it.

Recently I heard someone use it a few too many times in a conversation, well truthfully it was an argument, and she sounded so stupid. I listened to her go on and on, and suddenly I saw her for exactly what she was, a ditz, a "valley girl" so to speak, a lower-middle class nobody. "I am SUPER mad at you." "I think you are SUPER rude." "I am so SUPER pissed right now." (As if the "super" wasn't emphatic enough, she had to add the "so".) Couldn't she think of another word? She could have used any number of other words in place of super, or even omitted it entirely and still have gotten her point across.

It became clear to me that in her life had she shown more interest in intellectual development, and personal accomplishment, and put less emphasis on personal appearance, and social status she might have gotten more out of the private school education that her dad had practically sold his soul to pay for.

A Punahou education wasted, and a perfectly good word ruined.

What IS the point?

I was scolding Evangeline in the car the other day, Adam chimed in to add in his two cents, and Evan cut him off before he could even finish, "HeLLO-OH?! That's not the point dad!" I told her she could not talk to her dad that way, but I should have been more stern with her. I could barely keep a straight face though, I mean, where does she pick this stuff up? She's only 3! I can't even remember what I was lecturing her about to start with. My God, what will she be like when she's 15? Sassy girl!

The Story of Adam and Eve, as told by a 3 year old

Evangeline: Mom, you know God?
Me: (That's loaded I thought, but I knew where she was headed. I knew she was setting me up to tell me something about God, not asking if I had a relationship with Him) Yeah, what about Him?
Evangeline: You know Adam and Eve?
Me: Uh huh.
Evangeline: Adam and Eve didn't listen to God. God told them not to eat the fruit, and Eve ate the apple. God was mad at them. Eve was crying. They were so busted, yeah mom? They had to go on a long time out.

Folks I know

A lady called Impetuous - hotheaded: characterized by undue haste and lack of thought or deliberation

A boy named Supercilious - disdainful: having or showing arrogant superiority to and disdain of those one views as unworthy

I haven't lost mine...

In-teg-ri-ty
-noun
1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

I have found some of the best reasons I ever had for remaining at the bottom simply by looking at the men at the top. ~Frank Moore Colby

The Skinny

25 lbs between 10/01/10 and 12/31/2010 (13 weeks)
25 lbs between 01/10/11 and 04/18/2011 (15 weeks)

I will spend $1000 on new clothes if I reach my goal by my 29th birthday

Interested in your George Foreman Grill

I was interested in a few items I recently saw posted on craigslist, so I sent the following email:

Aloha,

I might be interested in your George Foreman grill. Do you know the model? How much are you asking for it?

I do hope you'll post pictures of some of your other items as well... Particularly your furniture and your Tiffany jewelry. :)

Good luck and happy selling!

Thanks,

From alisa_in_hawaii@yahoo.com I received such a rude response:

nope not showing pics.

this is a moving sale, like a garage sale.

first come first serve

this is not a store, you come look around and if you don't like anything you move on to the next garage/moving sale.

I am selling hundreds of items, post pics of what.........lol.

If I was to email pics back and forth I would not have time to go to work.

like the ad stated, interested email me your telephone number

mahalo

alisa

To which I replied:

I was simply showing interest in the specific items you mentioned in your ad. I know what a moving sale is, I know what a garage sale is. I know you're not a store, and I know it's first come first served. It was unnecessary of you to "lol" at my request for pictures. Pictures of what, you asked? Furniture and Tiffany jewelry I said. But nevermind. Please don't email me again. I have already marked you as SPAM. Good luck on your sale. Hope you're moving away from Hawaii, back to New York or wherever you came from.

Her response, which she titled "LMAO, stupid":

you are as ignorant as possible.

what do you want pics of your brain

I couldn't resist. I had to send her this:

You think I am ignorant? You don't even know how to use capital letters, punctuation, or structure a sentence. Do I "want pics of my brain"? Was that the best you could come up with? I've seen the picture you posted of yourself. You look like a bored, angry, old woman. Certainly too old to be using "LMAO". Do you think that's cute, or something? Old ladies that try too hard to act and appear young are not cute. They are lame. You're an ugly person inside and out. You're spoiling my Hawaii. Sell your junk and LEAVE! I was nice in my initial email, I don't know why you found it necessary to be so rude in your response. At this point I find your ignorance amusing. You're feeble attempts at wit will make great fodder for my blog. Please, keep 'em coming!

I should have left that last bit out. Now she won't want to play with me. And I was having such fun. I imagine this is what Adam feels like when he plays his video game.

Uncle Andrew, May You Rest In Peace

We pulled into the funeral home parking lot. Evangeline began to cry softly. "Papa is very sad", she said. "Today is a sad day", I told her. We got out of the car, and she kissed my dad hello. My dad stayed behind to finish his cigarette, while Evan and I approached the front entrance. "Everyone will cry today", she told me. We sat at the back of the room, I didn't want Evan to see the body. She asked me why we were there. I told her we came to pray. My dad came in quietly. He didn't look at us. He walked to the casket. The rest of the family hadn't arrived. My dad stood alone with his uncle's coffin. He turned to us, his eyes red, his face wet with tears. He wiped his face. He walked to the first row of chairs, and sat down. "Is this Papa's test", Evan asked me in a whisper. "Test?", I asked her. She repeated her question, "Is this Papa's test"? I shrugged. I had no idea what she meant, no idea what she was asking me. She looked across the room at my dad. "Today is Papa's bad dream", she told me. Family and friends arrived and began to file in. The room filled quickly. "It's so cold in here Mommy", Evan told me. It had to be over 85 degrees outside, and with the doors left open the funeral parlor was warm. I wrapped my arm tightly around her shoulders. "I'll keep you warm", I promised. The service was nice. People stood to say kind words about the deceased. My dad cried off and on throughout. Evan patted his shoulder lovingly in an effort to comfort him. At times she rested her hand on his arm. "Mommy, we are going to need lots of Hello Kitty after this", she said seriously.